TONGA BOSS

After spending thousands of years hidden deep under the Pacific Ocean, TONGA BOSS emerged from the depths after receiving a text from car guy reading simply: ‘here’. To this day, nobody is particularly sure when or where TONGA BOSS originated, but the raw power he emits guarantees that nobody alive has the confidence to ask him.

With the exception of Dominic Dickinson and Car Guy himself (two members of the BOSS’s phone company), anybody who makes eye contact with TONGA BOSS evaporates into a red mist.

In 2007, TONGA BOSS established a company known as ‘PHONE BOSS’, originally to produce untraceable phones for use in Car Guy’s ‘antiques dealing’ business with Dominic Dickinson. In 2013, the company began importing large quantities of Chapmanium and legend has it that TONGA BOSS is in the process of building the worlds largest cunt.